Letter to Mother — If I Die Before I Wake
To my mother I would write: I never understood why you were so cruel ~ or why you ruled with an iron fist Why you beat me till black and blue ~ for something as simple as not tying my shoe Why you were always enraged ~ why you never engaged with my life Why did I get the worst of the abuse ~ when I was the best behaved and did as you told me to? Why did you fight to win custody back ~ when you knew you lacked maternal instincts? Your torment instilled in me ~ fear, depression, insecurities, and anxiety This is the reason my judgment was flawed ~ Mother, you should be appalled Even though it was horrific living through this ~ I love you and always wished for your pain to be healed Even though my body will be gone ~ even though you may mourn My heart is no longer scorned ~ I thank you for being born My life resulted in the lives of more ~ lives that I love and adore This is the greatest gift you have given me ~ I don’t want or ask for more I’m FREE… Lay